Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
