we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
