There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
