I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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