I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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