Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
