She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
