So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize