remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
