**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize