I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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