When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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