what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
