Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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