I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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