i will never coherently bang her
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
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I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
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Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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