and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
