Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
