wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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