As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
