I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
