I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
