it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
