craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
