STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
