I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
