I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
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He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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