Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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