I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
