my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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