The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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