Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize