omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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