once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
