highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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