Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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