I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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