I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
