They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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