He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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