Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
