Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
