just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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