Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
