I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize