She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
