thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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