I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize