I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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