Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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