Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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