if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
