fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
