apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
