he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
