Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
