Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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