okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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