Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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