would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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