drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
