GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
