You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
